23 April 2012

Review: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

Twilight (Twilight, #1)Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

What. The. Hell. Is. This. Shit?

How, in an entire novel of vampires and werewolves, do one of them NOT decide to rip this girl to pieces and eat her?! PLEASE. I want to know. I almost jumped into this book and slaughtered this girl. She is the most annoying frigging narrator I have ever, EVER, had to read.

Okay, so Miss Meyer, you KINDA had something going for yourself. I mean you had some interesting ideas, cool twists on the legends, and so on. I didn’t want to read this book and hate it, I wanted to read this book and be interested. Don’t get me wrong. Jake is kinda… fun. Edward was lovely until you turned him into a ass. The Cullens are wonderful, really. I loved Dr. Cullen, I wanted to glomp him. But your main character is such a whiney baby.

So Bella moves into a new town and suddenly every body is falling in love with her. She claims she’s unique and brave, but she makes friends with the fakest people ever. She meets tall, pale, and handsome, and suddenly she’s in love. How? You don’t even know him. A few pages in your life is over because he didn’t show up to school. REALLY?

Oh, did I mention she randomly starts reading Austen and listening to Chopin? Like, “Oh, I’m this bats hit crazy teenager, but wait! I totally love classical music even though it’s against my personality completely.”

And I was so holding out for Edward. I’m like, “C’mon, you can’t seriously like this girl. You’re constantly laughing at her. She whines, she’s kinda mean towards people, and she’s a huge fake.” Nope, he totally falls in love with her for no reason what so ever.

Edward: “You’re sexy because I can’t read your mind…”


And with a flip of the switch SUDDENLLY he’s in love.

So the end comes and… oh. My. Gosh… you mean real action? Wow, if you had actually had some blood and gore happen in the beginning of the book you may have had a plot. You wasted potential on a whiney girl and her glitter covered boyfriend. WHY? You are a waste. Really.

Okay, now onto the good stuff… there’s not much.

The characters who didn’t suck, a.k.a Bella, sometimes Edward, most of the time Jacob, every person who went to that high school, etc… The rest were fun. I would love to just sit in the middle of the Cullen house and just watch them. People watch, yep, that’s what I’d like to do. Really, if I’d just read a book about them, or if I could read Bella’s thought’s without wanting to blow chunks, I would really like this book.

And good job Miss Meyer of not giving a crap about any of the other characters. Sure, we’re all supposed to love the girl who is suddenly brilliant, but whines a lot, hangs out with the “OMG!” crowd, falls in love at the drop of the had and… have I mentioned she’s just mean? Well what about the rest of them? Can’t I learn about the other characters? (And no, that giant info dump about Carlisle does not count. It was like she was just trying to get it out of the way.)

The only reason I am not burning this book is because I like the Cullens, they’re kinda fun. The only reason I just might read the other books is because of them. I have yet to made a decision on it, but let’s see what happens…

Can somebody please tell me if the other books are actually worth reading?

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  1. Do yourself a a favour and skip the rest of the Twilight books.

  2. Admittedly I've only read snippets, but I think they actually get worse as they go. The plot gets even less believable and even more boring, Bella is even more whiny and mean to people, Edward turns into an emotionally controlling jerkbag, and Jacob is just weird. I'd skip them.

  3. Please be my best friend!

    I totally agree with you. The only character that kept me reading is Jacob and she totally screws him over.

    DT from Dead Trees and Silver Screens

  4. I can't tell you if the other books are good, because I couldn't bring myself to read them. From what I've heard, they just go downhill.

    One day I might read them just for the sake of writing an academic article on them, but until that day, I can't make myself do it.

  5. Hahahahaha, I adore you, really! You made my day :D

    There is really nothing in this books, expect the Cullens, that is worth reading it. Bella must be the most annoying character I have EVER read about and that's a good job, since I read so many books already :p

  6. Did you end up reading the rest? I read them all for a friend but New Moon was an absolute travesty.


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